Becoming pregnant in a country you moved to as an adult is surprisingly scary.
I have a number of friends and family with babies, many of them I know how their pregnancies went as well as their labor and deliveries, I’m also very aware of how different each and every one was. I’ve know people who needed emergency c-sections, or chose a planned c-section, I’ve know people have unmedicated natural vaginal births and those who opted for all the medicines possible. I’ve know some who needed blood transfusions and/or extra days in the hospital, some whose little ones needed time on the NICU wards.
I have friends and family who had consultant care throughout and some who had midwifery throughout. Some who used midwife led units, or the labor and delivery ward in hospital.
In short; every single person I know had a pregnancy, labor and delivery which was special and unique to them. However; none of them have moved from the U.K. and then delivered their baby in the States and I became increasingly upset with what I was researching, hearing and seeing.
,We started my pregnancy journey at Poma Fertility, I needed some support and help in continuing a pregnancy passed the first trimester and I’m forever thankful that we found out the cause and were able to successfully maintain our little baby first time. We graduated the clinic and had our 12 week scan with my OBGYN, in part because I wanted my 12 week scan after all the many we had had from week 4 at the clinic, and also so that for once my Dr. was seeing me with good news rather than confirming another miscarriage.
My OBGYN had no doubts that I would opt for midwifery care through my pregnancy especially as we were British and he no longer delivers babies so I would have to switch Dr’s, he even reminded me that the hospital had a midwifery department and we should check them out. That is how it works here in Washington State – you interview or visit different providers and then choose who you want and hope they have the space for you!
We visited Evergreen midwifery team, and they were lovely. Nice facility, at the hospital if anything happened, but something just didn’t feel right. We toured the midwifery suite at that hospital and also some others and I felt incredibly uncomfortable and on the brink of tears.
Every place we toured was so medical, and very 60’s! Each place raved about their transforming beds and how you can labor in any position — until you were ready to deliver and then you were flipped over onto your back and legs in stirrups. Something didn’t sit right with me, at my most vulnerable I would be told to move position to make it easier for the Dr. or midwife to delivery my baby…I questioned this, asked if you had to be in the bed and on your back. Yes, but you can sit up! Oh wow, thanks I guess. I asked about a birthing pool – yes you can have one but you cannot deliver in it, you have to get out and onto the bed. Birthing stool – yes but you can’t deliver on it.
Don’t even get me started on the assumption that every woman has an epidural! There is only one hospital currently in WA which is able to provide nitrous oxide, and it was too far away for me to consider.
I had 4 weeks to choose my OBGYN or midwife team, I needed one in place for my 16 week scan and appointment. I was really stressing and felt anxious, then I discovered a Birth Centre which seemed similar to a midwife led unit in the U.K. and I saw that there are midwives who work unattached to hospitals. This was something new to consider, in my mind why wouldn’t you have midwifery care if you didn’t have a complicated pregnancy? We were in the process of moving house so I search for those who covered our new address and discovered Snohomish Midwives, about 30 minutes away. I emailed, and then visited them and loved what I saw, heard and how I felt. They didn’t have their own Birthing Centre, but they had privileges at another one which was not too far from us nor a hospital.
Yes! Providers found!
Home birth then came onto my radar, that is what my midwives primarily did. We toured the Birth Centre, and it was lovely. 3 rooms, spacious, calm, great! No nitrous oxide. We discussed with our midwives what they had with them for a Home Birth and what they had with them at a Birth Centre – identical. They was nothing medically different between the two places, same equipment, same people, same length of time following delivery with the midwives before either they left the home or I left the birth centre.
Home birth it was then! In my mind; why would I want to travel to a birth centre and deliver then get in my car to go back home 4 hours later? When I could stay at home.
Once I made the decision, and I say “I” because although it was a mutual decision with my husband I needed to be the one most at ease, comfortable and confident in that I was doing what I felt was right for me and my pregnancy. I was fully supported by my husband though once he had come around to the idea.
Our birth team was complete – Snohomish Midwives, Muna Habib our doula, and my own bed at home. We later added a photographer – Nicole Griswold – who did our couple shoot for Christmas and who we booked for our newborn photographs. Zero regrets on having photos of the birth, highly recommend it!
We attended birth classes at different hospitals so that we knew what would happen if I needed emergency transport or even if I changed my mind. We went into a home birth with an open mind, and a lot of research but also knowing that every woman experiences things differently. Some people openly judged us, some I know discussed among themselves and others fully supported us. The number of women here who told me that birth would be the most painful and I needed to have an epidural was very surprising, talking to friends in the U.K. they mostly recommended the gas and air! But alas – it’s not used here due to not enough research on its safety! Turns out that approximately 70% of women in WA opt for epidurals during their labor and delivery, which isn’t surprising considering how pushed they are during birth classes. We did 3 different birth classes at different places and in each class we were usually one of maybe 2 or 3 couples under midwifery care and not OBGYN care and I was the only woman not already planning on an epidural.
The different birth classes gave us all the information we needed plus also baby care and first aid. Turns out though I don’t labor like the “average” woman does. We wouldn’t have made it to a hospital even if that was our plan! Little one would have been born in the car on the side of the road. *shock*
Here is a little peak of our little ones arrival, at home.
The Gordon's Miscellany 